fresh

In April it felt like the universe insisted my old life be washed away, a little like the non-existent showers that showed up in May, or the cycle of fortune. In May, I'm rebuilding. Even though the weather itself has not cooperated with the age old pattern of death and re-birth. My life surly has.

Outsourced

I kept the blog silent because I was losing my job, outsourcing. I wanted to write about it many times but that would have been the worst thing possible, my old company, is strangely secretive, I lost a promotion because of a hearsay story, that showed up on Huffington Post about my need to wear black and white, the possibility that I would say something to endanger my ability to collect unemployment or truly dent my future. Well, I tend to blog about things that I shouldn't, so silence is better.

In the end I screamed at the human resource director, simply doing the dirty dead of the company. "This is how our democracy crumbles. we are forced to sign our rights away." Seven people lost their jobs due to outsourcing, the company glossed over the strangeness of losing employment, in some cases, some in the mail room had worked for the company for twenty years. In lue of severance the new opportunities, were, sort of offered, with a different company. For me the Deja Vu of my NASDAQ days, was too great.  I have seen this massacre play out before. I did not want to be in it's path again.  Because the company i was working for, simply deferred the task of firing it's long term charges, to another. Where there is no longevity. I will never again, trust a corporation, unless I am the head of it. The laws themselves favor the employer and only a lawsuit remedies the wrong. Instead of encouraging responsibility and what is right. Employers are asked to roll; the will-they-sue-me-dice.

Re-Building

Financially my book is in danger, I'm trying to come up with freelancer work and it's going better then I expected. Yet, the quest to come up with my old, meager salary is strong. Yet, for the first time in my life, I'm actually surviving because of what I write, how I think, the relationships I've brought into my life, it's strangely invigorating and wonderful. Maybe just maybe ... I'll transition to a company, where I can write. This is in the ether, the transition will take a bit. I'm innately hopeful. I must be.

Success

I don't know which to put first, as two recent successes. The fact that I was mentioned and recognized by the New York Times as a playwright, yes, you have to hunt for the quote, yet they said it. The back of my head has also been made famous, in the slide show. 

At the Chelsea Hotel my work was front and center, although I fear that it went over some people's head, it took up an alcove in a stunning place. I gave lots of interviews, I'll see if any press is generated, I did give an interview to a videographer. The blog Bubblegum Pop mentioned it. Thanks! It was a wonderful and mesmerizing evening, to be included with such developed and great artists. I'm clearly honing my voice, yet it's going in a strong direction. I want to tell a story through photo and poetry, in an innovative and great way.

Now I can update my blog more often, because I've dealt with this odd transition, so hopefully I'll be able to make it. This time.

Comments

[lisa]

wow. i can totally relate to so much you said. this HAS been a strange spring....a few days warm then back to this bizarro world of 50s and wearing jackets in May bc of the winds and chilly nights. seasons change and i am confident you will make it past this difficult period. i am however disappointed that i didn't know about your thing at Chelsea Hotel because my BF lives near 21/9th so i am always in the area. i'd love you to meet him as you are both creative, smart, brilliant guys! (hugs!) I AM SOOO GLAD YUO POSTED AGAIN. YOUR VOICE WAS TRULY MISSED. however having been there like you, fired, dealing with shit, i know you too will rebound with even stronger, better wit, writing and savvy. as a fellow writer and blogger it's really been enriching reading your reviews, and POV. it's also made me a stronger writer. so thanks! i love what you said about corporations. yes they are EVIL and i too would never be a part of one unless i was at the helm. even then i'd run it with heart and not reduce my employees to mere numbers devoid of humanity. i loved the NY Times article. you were in it, quoted no less, so BE PROUD. consider this your encouragement to NEVER GIVE IN to the mindless i.e. corporate and/or HR assholes. you are a good writer, nice fellow and i am just glad i am lucky enough to enjoy the ride along with you as we live our life in NYC and someone survive. namaste....best wishes xxoo LISA (from HRC gala)